I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
