I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize