It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
