I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
