before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
