i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize