I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
