Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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