Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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