I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
