I'm really into asian looking animals
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
