Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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