Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize