never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
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How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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