Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
worst night to have a conscience
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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