I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
