i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
