I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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