My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
