After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
