He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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