That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
