I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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