what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Randomize
