So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
