doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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