I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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