I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
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