Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
