So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize