Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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