You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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