I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
