at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
