Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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