C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
