So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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