I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
