The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize