Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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