It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
