it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
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if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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