i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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