no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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