He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
