That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
