Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
