You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
