dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
