Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
