So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
