Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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