I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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