It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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