Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
