she was so not down for the gang bang
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
