i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
smell my finger.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
