The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.