Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize