his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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